Wife had affair now moved out

[coffee_]

Thank you Sandi. Like much of the advice that I have received on here, you are absolutely correct

My life has always been about the MR. I think I am really struggling to find my identity and who I am. We grew up together so I was never really an individual. Always identified as a couple.

I have been going to the gym alot, beginning to run and trying to become much healthier.

As for male friends yes I have some problem being is when we moved away (2 hours) I never made friends here as I was so dependent on the MR. Now I go back as much as possible but working and shared custody it doesn't leave much time. That is a goal of have made for myself.

I know exactly how you feel, I had all my eggs in that basket. During the M I perceived that I didn't but as my STBXW and I draw further apart, I am realizing that most of my social life was with her. I have done the GAL thing quite well I think. I have spent my time Hunting, meeting with the friends that I do have that aren't mutual. Finding new friends with similar interests. Cooking, I love to cook! I continue to work hard, or sometimes...I just fake it. I am also learning how to be alone, an important part of GAL I think. At first I felt I needed to fill my quiet time with others, but now I realize its okay to have some quiet time. During the M I did enjoy my quite "me" time, just tinkering in the shop listening to music or podcasts etc. I think GAL also includes resuming the things that you have personally enjoyed in the past. For me all that stuff was put on hold once BD hit. With the holidays looming I am feeling quite isolated, I have lost half of my family (her side) which is local. My family is 3 1/2 hours away. Friends are starting to get busy with holiday stuff, which is understandable. So I am starting to look at new activities to get me out there doing things, I don't want to become a hermit for crying out loud! I am looking into teaching a cooking class or joining a volunteer board.
It's okay to think about things, but do the best you can to dedicate time to it so you don't obsess, so try to set aside some time during the day to think about it. Maybe when your on the toilet..haha!
Be the man only a fool would leave..if she leaves well you have your answer, if things work out you'll be a better man for it. I've heard that it takes 66 days to develop a habit...get cracking man, time is wasting.