Coffee and spinning

[AndrewP]

Coly23 - Sorry for not visiting recently. I hope you are doing better today. It's perfectly reasonable to feel anxious right now about all sorts of things - I certainly do myself.

Bringing in a new family member like a dog is a big responsibility. My D24 and her H just adopted a 2 year-old who seems to be fitting in well. An crucial thing in my mind though is that I believe that a well-trained dog is a joy to their family and themselves. Sadly W's dog isn't - but she took him with her so not my problem. If you do want to continue on this path perhaps look for an older dog that is already trained and perhaps belonged to a senior. They will often be hard to place because people don't want older dogs - ask at the rescue centre about that perhaps. Being able to move from their existing home right into yours would be a lot less stressful for the poor pup. Ex-show dogs sometimes come available as well and are generally incredibly well trained. Even more than training the dog, the "puppy parent" has to be trained even better. Perhaps investigate that first with D15 - make it a project.

The birthday will be fine - you can do this. What does D15 want to do? Make it a small adventure with the two of you and a D15 friend. Don't plan it around H but maybe let him know what's happening, that you've got it under control and that you'll send him a picture (job can perhaps clarify if that's a good idea or not).

I'm going to pretend that I'm job now (no giggles please imagining job with a mustache and bow tie) and remind you that your H is on his own journey and is still baking. You won't hear from him any more than I hear from my own W while that's happening. Even occasional messages from them probably cost them a lot of effort to send. The best thing you can do for him and for you and D15 is to leave him be. He may pop up around Christmas and the birthday but just think of that as a "squirrel sighting", don't scare him, let him look around and then go back into the oven to bake some more. You are his lighthouse - keep shining my dear - there's lots around you to see. It's a great big beautiful world.

Thanks for the cuppa - see you again soon.