Hello...can you hear me?

[Georgiabelle]

Hi Everyone,

Thanks for the warm welcome. I am in a bit of a ....funk? I could use some perspective from the wise folks here.

I'm at a bit of a wall in certain aspects of my life. I *know* I have to do something and honestly, I have just been unmotivated to do anything. I do feel I am getting there sloth style and more on that in another post.

I have been with new guy over 5 months. I have met some of his family. My children adore him and he is exceptional with him. He has a daughter the same ages as my youngest s, so we do have fun. In the spirit of candor, my internal self gets a little wobby this time of year as it's post anniversary and coming up on BD. I don't want to sound dramatic and it is better than it used to be. It IS still there. I hope this year I am able to push through a bit better than the last couple of years.

New guy is great. Honestly, I have never been treated this well. I have never been attracted to someone this way before. Maybe I am older? He is funny, fun, extremely intelligent and treats me like I am the cherry on top of a sundae. I do love him. He irons my clothes. Takes out the garbage. Plays soccer with my kids. Cooks. Sigh. These are the ways to win me over:) His ex wife had 2 young children when they got married and by all accounts he was an exceptional step father.

However, if he doesn't say something or is quiet, I assume he is tucking this factoid away to bring up to me later. I have OCD tendencies and I have discussed. I just feel like he is going to bring all of my flaws up to me one day like ex Mr. GB did. Some of what ex Mr. GB said was 100% accurate and some was lunacy. I do recognize that. I am working very diligently on being different in this relationship. Well, focusing on having a healthy relationship where I don't turn into a mother. I know you can't punish someone for the past and I am keenly aware of some these feelings. However, I feel very unsettled. And nothing NG has done makes me feel unsettled, It is me. I make myself feel this way. And some days it just reminds me of how I failed at marriage and (I know I harp on this and must let it go) I just never saw myself divorce. I realize none of us did. I logically know that.

I don't know. Bop me over the head. Send me some sweet potato soufflé with extra crunch. Hope everyone is having a good week.