Just keep plugging along

[cbtdad]

So it's been almost a month since I've posted. I've actually tried to stay away from the forum because unfortunately it can put some bad thoughts into my head when I get to enriched in it.
Ever since the last blowup, the day before our anniversary, there hasn't been any major blowups or fights. Over the last few weeks the space between us definitely seems to be growing. She is extremely short winded with me. Sticks to herself when she is home. Only responds with one or two words at most to texts.
Everytime I even approach just to talk about the day or things she just seems bothered and put off.
Last night was the first time in a while that we actually had a conversation. I told her I realized that our marriage isn't priority number one for her right now. She didn't disagree. I told her I'm here to support her getting through paramedic school just like she supported me so much through the years. It wasn't a long conversation as I could tell she was done. So I didn't push. Old me would have kept going and dragging it out.
She starlets having to do clinicals for paramedic school about 4 weeks ago and that when the distancing really started to seem obviously to me. So maybe she is just that burnt out and that stressed out. But to me it seems that she is pulling away from me more and more.
A couple months ago I really thought we had a real shot at making it. Now it feels like she is distancing herself for her safety or trying to do so for me to pull the trigger.
For the first time I've actually thought about going to see an attorney to discuss my options and think about protecting myself.
It's been 7 months of living in guest room and no sex. She isn't done with paramedic school for another 7 months.
I'm staying no matter what through then for my son.
I'm really trying to focus on me and continue to better myself.
I've also stated snooping again and don't like me at all when I do that. I never find anything and I know that I wouldn't. She's too smart for that. She will communicate through facebook IM or instsgram or snap chat. Something that doesn't show up on bill.
So that needs to stop pronto because it leads to nothing good ever
At this point I'm really just trying to continue to have as much patience as possible.
We are headed to her dads for thanksgiving this evening. Her family knows nothing of this going on. So we stay in the same bedroom while there.
It's depressing thinking this could be last Thanksgiving and Christmas together as family. I'm trying my best to stay away from those thoughts