j20, I don't mean to be flippant, casual or condescending about it, so I hope it doesn't come off that way. I'd like to answer this because it's something I've pondered for a long time. I suppose we all have.
First, you're fighting for your children's well-being. I think we both know that.
Second, you're fighting for your own soul, your own voice, your own wisdom, your own dignity and honor, in this soul-crushing experience. Some people here call it divorce-busting, but I think in reality most people don't bust their divorces. So the name is a little misleading. It's really tough to know what the right thing to do is -- even with the help of this forum -- because things are so complicated, and our friends in the forum simply can't know all the particulars of what each of us is going through. You have to ultimately find the wisdom for your situation yourself. If you're lucky, you might have the help of a good therapist -- but even a good therapist can't know everything, since it's filtered through your conversations.
Anyway, allow me to rephrase: you fought for a year to be the great husband that you want to be.
Is the fight over? Is your journey finished? Maybe it is. But something tells me it isn't quite over. I sense there is more you can do for yourself. Not for your wife, but for yourself. Am I wrong?
Me: 50, MLC/WW 45 Young kids Nov 2015: BD1 Apr 2016: BD2 Jan 2017: W filed Feb 2017: D final
