Chapter 4 - Acting As If

[SH_]

So glad I've matured a little and you guys are all here. I did not send any messages at all. When I see her on Tues night, I'll see if she brings it up and try and be as positive about it as possible. It's up to her to interpret what she heard and she can act accordingly.

Please answer doodlers question.
What is it you think an apology was needed for?

PacLove. I think my W sees that she is missing out. Not sure if any loss is being felt. That's why slowly she has been inching back into our lives. Maybe it's cake eating, maybe remorse, not sure. This summer she offered to do housework. I said don't worry.

I think you are still mind reading and speculating on everything she does, thinks or feels.
Cheeseless tunnel.

Now she's started again.

Any thoughts - is it cake eating, remorse, testing, etc? Let me know your thoughts - ladies,Sandi2 What do you think

I'm not sandi, nor one of the ladies, but I am here sharing what I have shared with you all along my friend.
It's time to move forward with you.
She has fired you as her husband.
You know this.
You will benefit much by moving forward and doing you, without any thoughts or expectations from her.
There can not be any loss, if you keep doing what you have continued to do.
She see's you as much the same.
Trust me...as I am catching up on your pots, I see much the same from bigybiz.

The more I read in here in the DB community, the more I see one of 2 things.

1. LBS that finally let go and move on with life.
These are the ones that on occasion the WAS/WS see's what they are missing and try to come back.

2. And I see the LBS that continues doing much of the same mind reading, game playing and over analyzing every little thing as if it is a game...I have not seen an WAS/WS return to this...Well, I have seen the return of an WAS/WS in some of these cases, but I have also seen the LBS in each of these return here again shortly after because it tends to fall apart.
Maybe the WAS/WS felt sorry for the LBS, IDK, but the pattern is pretty consistent.

Detach...let go...focus forward..



Still pulling for you my friend.
please go and read your threads and see the pattern...then break the patterns...cheesless tunnels in the pattern.

“To conquer oneself is a greater task than conquering others” – Buddha

“You only lose what you cling to.” – Buddha

“You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe deserve your love and affection.” – Buddha

bigybiz, what are you doing for you? What are you doing to love yourself enough to move forward and become the man only a fool would leave.
I challenge you to focus on this, in the place of your expressed desires for her to feel loss...you deserve some peace...I think you are seeking it in the wrong place.

Peace comes from within. Do not seek it without. -Buddha