You are doing great, cheesy. This is hard stuff! Your emotions are spinning and she's going to rope you in/out as much as she can. She is keeping you as plan B right now, and in her fog may be oblivious to her selfishness. But I agree she is trying to cake eat.

Let's put a slightly different spin on this to regroup. There are two things happening here and let's try and keep them separate. 1. Your emotional process, and 2. Your actions.

#1. Your emotional process is going to fluctuate. A lot. She throws you crumbs of hope. Then she bails and dissapoints you. She is being completely selfish and has you wondering why you even still want her. She is with OW, which creates feelings of jealousy and insecurity. She then tells you how sorry she is. She has you on her roller coaster and wondering "now what!?!"

So here is how you handle that. Vent here and come here for support and advice. Seek out people you trust for the same--IC, family, and your close friends. You continue to feel the pain, grieve the loss of the M, and then put it aside and enjoy better days. You 180 for you, you GAL for you, and you continue to DB for you. This is all for YOU! You are going to look inside at your flaws and allow yourself to grow into the best cheesyt that you can. And the secondary gain from that is that you will attract quality people to you. That may be your W some day or it may be someone else that is more worthy of your time and love.

#2. Your actions. This one is the one that remains constant. Your actions with WW remain calm, confident, and detached. Even increasingly disinterested as you remove yourself from plan B. But they do not depend on #1. She can swing back and forth, rope you in and out, and strap you into this crazy ride, but she does not control your actions. You are consistent, taking care of you, stable and strong, and you are the lighthouse.

If and when she ever pulls her head out of her rear and fully commits to the M, and only then, do your actions change.

So what now? Same old same. Keep on keeping on. Let her go. Hold your head up high. Focus on your needs and happiness. She can tell you she wants you, misses you, and loves you! I'm so sorry, I made a terrible mistake! Then she can tell you the next day she is done, wants D, and you should just go straight to h3ll! But cheesy's actions don't change. She gets her love/support from safe people, but she remains the same in her actions and interactions with WW.

This is how you detach, get your power back, and grow. This is patience. You can do this and you will be better off in life if you can.

Blu

“Forgiveness liberates the soul. It removes fear. That is why it is such a powerful weapon.” – Nelson Mandela