When I first arrived here like a lot of others including myself we try to find the spiritual or philosophical side of our situation.
Some turn to religion, others try to be upbeat about it. It is like when you attend a funeral and someone always comes out with those stupid expressions.
In my opinion it is incorrect. This is gut wrenching trench warfare where emotional wounds are made that hurt as much as the physical ones and where we as people and a family unit are ripped apart from the soul outwards.
There is no easy way out and no one is going to help you but yourself. You will cry, hurt, anger, question... go through so many emotions it will drain you.
No matter how sh1tty your relationship was, if you went to a home and lived a conventional life no matter how unhappy you were, it will not prepare you for the onslaught. By the end of the first wave you will be emotionally battered and bruised.
The problem is that it doesnt end there, there is no time, the second wave is coming and you are outgunned and unarmed for the oncoming.
As a result we grab on to our basic and primitive instincts. Some to religion, some to philosophical logic, others to violence... to each his own.
That is where we should really listen to the words here. By listening I mean UNDERSTAND really what is happening to you and how to react at first to then counterattack.
Believe me, we are not used to so much emotional ups and downs because we are not in control. If we keep our head however we will see as MWD sdays that these emotions are like waves and little by little we get to stand on our feet, not be scared of them and by the end of the day have to strength to walk back on to the beach to safer place.
We will arrive there if we DO cry, hurt and detox ourselves of all those destructive emotions we are subject to.
Until we do that we cannot move on to the next stage. Remember the worst person who can hurt you is yourself. You are fighting against yourself and you need to be realistic and understand it is part of a healing process.
It seems to me that you are on the right track and remember self pity or hatred get you nowhere. Just be realistic, if you get slapped dont turn the cheek but kick them in the nvts, just dont be the first to lash out.
