Lex, you have several elements in your story that resonate with me. The things you're seeing -- I realize they are surprising for you, but if you look back into your history, are they really new? Or is there a pattern of such behavior over the ~20 years you've known her. Is she quick to anger? Do her emotions run very hot and very cold suddenly? Does she have trouble opening up about her inner feelings? Does she have low self-esteem? Did you have good communication all those years? Was she a very willing partner for daily sex for 18 years? Does she gravitate towards strong infatuations, as with the celebrity?
Please think about it. I'd like to hear whether this is all new, or maybe this has been a part of her personality all along.
When I think back, some of this is new and some not. communication has been difficult for her but we have usually figured it out. she has been quick to anger sometimes and the response can be disproportionate. Once early on in the marriage she took a swing at me for putting the wrong shirts in the dryer. The surprise rages were fairly rare though so I just let them go. I have always paid for everything and I think that her self esteem may have suffered some. she is an accomplished artist but has made very little money over the years.
she was a very willing sex partner. she initiated as often as I did and was playful/experimental in bed.
I knew that she had a teenage crush on the celebrity but I never thought much of it. she has been faithful to me and up to this point I was not aware of any flirting. she is even kind of quiet and introverted in mixed crowds. I was very shocked to discover that she had actually made contact and was flirting with said celebrity.
