New to the Boards. Marriage in Crisis.

[Chris73]

sandi2. Thanks so much for detailed response and tough love. Everything you're saying makes sense, and I have read your 2 stickies on the subject several times.

My stand on MC is that it won't work while she has a wayward heart. You are too vulnerable and needy to be revealing anything in a couple's session. You have to stop chasing her! That is the first step.

So what's the move on this? I'm certainly not going to come out and suggest that we quit MC when she's still willing to go. I think this would be just as bad as explaining my detachment techniques. So other than quitting MC, the alternative is to keep going and just be as stoic as possible?

She has lost respect for the H who won 't stand up to her, tolerates disrespect from her, acts like her servant, and uses passive behavior. That type of behavior killed her attraction. Knowing this..........can you guess what it will take to get the attraction back?

Clearly the opposite right?: Stand up to her. Do not tolerate disrespect. Don't act like her servant. Be aggressive...But I can see that it's possible to get carried away with this mindset and just come off like an A-hole.

I have definitely been doing a lot more work around the house than I used to, but I don't see it as being her servant. I do these things for the good of my family. So that my kids have clean clothes, a clean house, a nice yard, food prepared, and to show them what it means to be responsible. But I don't want to split hairs if I don't have to. For example, if I'm doing the laundry, I'm not going to leave out my W's clothes and just wash everything else.

Anyway, it's a lot to think about and I truly appreciate the folks on this board who are helping me. It's truly inspiring.