Thank you for your friendship: JR, CT, AP, Coly, LT, Sara, Jug, Mules and others whom I am forgetting.
I'm frustrated and a little puzzled that this web forum, in which anonymity and privacy is essential, does not offer a way to edit your own posts. I hope MWD and her staff rethink this issue more carefully.
I never thought I'd be where I am now.
Last night I (re-)watched "Saving Private Ryan," which -- despite a spattering of the usual Hollywood syrup in a few places -- put my current troubles in perspective, and highlighted the absurdity and arbitrariness of fate, as well as the importance of strength and honor. Actually, I think it's strength *from* honor, strength that is simply trying to adhere to your own principles while struggling with your emotional pain and impulses.
I don't know if I'm doing everything right. In fact I know I must not be. But I am trying to do the right thing, for my kids, for myself, and even for my W.
Me: 50, MLC/WW 45 Young kids Nov 2015: BD1 Apr 2016: BD2 Jan 2017: W filed Feb 2017: D final