Slowly losing my wife

[G_Main]

I'm still figuring my own situation out, but its easier to look at other peoples with a little more clarity than my own.

Some things that Ive done for myself is to go to counseling alone since my husband wont and is insistent upon divorce. In the mean time, he sees me bettering myself and I am. It helps me, gives me an outlet and makes me less emotional with him.

It doesnt sound like divorce has been brought up yet, but obviously things aren't good. Would she be open to individual counseling just in regards to the abortion, not necessarily relationship counseling? That alone can be a very hard thing to deal with and it sounds like shes struggling with it, among other things.

The fact that she is looking outside of your relationship for attention means she likely already has a foot out the door. The thing I've struggled with most is the fact that you can't win her back with logic, promising things, etc. It isnt something you can talk through. You have to do the things in the DR/DB books for you. Its counter intuitive and can be a struggle. So for me it clicked when someone said, "youre going to lose him anyway, whats the harm in trying?" Basically if youre afraid of detaching and sitting back because youre worried shell take off if youre not in action, well.. shes going to go anyway. So at least this way you have a fighting chance. It is taking action, just not in the way you would think.