My WS and I have been M 17 years and together 20. We have no children together and its our 2nd marriage. My WS has a had emotional issues with depression that stems from being molested by her father as a child. She has been in counseling off and on over the years and started with a new counselor in July. She had deep depression in Feb/Mar of 2016 and was in a cycling accident in May, where she was almost run over by cars, which I think started this MLC.
I look back at this summer and I see the signs I wasn't picking up then...she became even more dedicated to fitness, joined a bike club, started running, reread "Younger Next Year", listening to more current music, etc.
I have read numerous posts, completed DR and other books too many to post here. She told me on October 1st, ILYBNILWY and that she met someone on Labor Day weekend and was in love with him. "soul mate". I did all of the wrong things, except we started counseling. I worked on her with pressure and proof from articles and readings that showed why this affair wouldn't last, etc. She has been asking me for space and time since mid-October and in counseling admitted that she knows that this may not last and the odds are against it, but her feelings are so deep she has to see what this is all about.
We go to counseling tomorrow night to finalize our trial separation with NC, managed by our therapist. The thought from the therapist is that WS isn't aware of the impact of leaving our M and what her new relationship will be until she's living without the M. I am in a pretty good place, as I have been using LRT for the last 2 weeks with good results and her attitude me has been different. She texts me or calls me often now. She moved in with OM immediately after our last therapy session, which is good....she's had a couple of weeks of two teenage kids, a crappy house, with an introverted guy who has few if any friends.......she will see what the reality of this is and it won't be me telling her about it.
Next week she is moving into her own apartment for 3 months. Her counselor told her she needs her own space and she is doing just that. We have our beautiful house up for sale and I am GAL....which she is beginning to notice (a friend told me she mentioned that to her). I have nothing left to lose and this point and time is on my side. So I am practicing patience and GAL.
I would love to hear thoughts or ideas, this post is already too long and I have more information I could've added to this, but please offer your input.
Last edited by job; 11/21/1608:43 AM. Reason: Added a link to another thread
M52 W52 M17 T20 SS 23 from my 1st M Lives on his own BD 10/01/16 Trial Sep 12/01/16
