Still lost, still confused (part 2)

[Jug]

One of the struggles for me is that my hope comes and goes. This forces me to get really honest about how and what I'm doing to change my situation and what my strategy is. I've also been "living this" for over a year but not knowing what's been really going on until about five months ago. When I did find out, I didn't think I could go five months like this.