Struggling

[fightin]

Thank you, V.

We've already established the schedule for me to see him. Since I moved back to my hometown I'll only be in their town once a week for work and therapy sessions so I'll see him after therapy each week.

I will definitely go and catch up on their sitches, thanks for the direction.

I have people here that I'm already making plans with to catch up with them. I'm also going to join a gym here, and start taking guitar lessons as well for some of my GAL activities.

Yes, I'm very blessed with a great support system so for that I'm extremely thankful.

Thank you for all the kind words and encouragement!

[Vanilla]

I am pleased you will see SS.

So loving.

V

[fightin]

V, after I thought about what you said regarding a schedule with my SS I decided to make sure it was crystal clear with my W as while we had discussed it before what day, I had not clarified a time with her. So I sent her a text stating I just wanted to make sure we were on the same page and let her know what time it would be. She said that would work great and I left it alone after that.

Several minutes later she text me to share with me that she had finally got a deer while hunting this weekend. I had my phone with me and out of reflex I immediately text back "Good job." She text some more about it and sent a photo. I kept my response very limited, but I need to work on not texting back immediately even when I am available.

[Vanilla]

The text thing isn't a game. Sometimes a good job is a validation and it's great to get that in. Remember your child is with her.

The texts not to respond to are the temp checker and of course the rants.

I love your attitude fin.

V

[fightin]

I don't want to play games, I just am not sure what to respond to and what not to respond to. I feel like by her texting me things about hunting (and then hours later something about her dad finally getting a bigger TV) she feels she gets to keep me in the friend zone. That's why I'm not sure if I should respond or not.

I guess I need to read more about temp checking so I can understand what that is when it happens.

[cheesyt]

In my opinion, and in my situation I only responded to visitation schedule & bills. Nothing mor. she fired you as her wife therefore as a friend. If she needs validation on her hungtimg she can get it from OW. & Her dad getting a new tv Sounds like friendzone. . I think you're on the right track our Ws (at least in the current and few lesbian marriages) seem to think they can keep us as friends. Also the whole not answering texts is more for you. I recall in the beginning When i stopped replying I felt...free or idk just like very whatever if W texted me. It's kind of a nice feeling. It helps to stop worrying about the W. It certainly helped me, perhaps it will do you some good too!

Any gal activities this weekend?
-cheesyt

[hawker]

I would agree with Cheesyt....I was too nice to my W and I texted her back and we got into some long convo's...which didn't help me and it made me mind read and think that "maybe she is changing her mind" For what its worth it does helps me alot more when I don't talk to her at all so maybe it will help you as well. Plus you don't want her as a friend, you want her as your W...so...I would only reply if emergency, ur SS or bills, etc.

[fightin]

Hey cheesty, That's how I feel about it, I don't want to be friend-zoned. I guess if I'm being honest the only reason I even want to respond is fear. I fear if I don't she'll be pushed away and I don't want to lose her. (even though I KNOW I have to let her go completely) On the other hand, if she thinks she can have a friendship with me and keep the OW then why would she change a thing?

My GAL activities this weekend have solely revolved around moving. My parents house is a disgusting mess so I had to clean the dining room to get my computer set up for work this week. Then I cleaned the refrigerator out, it was also disgusting. I have some OCD and can't live like this so that's what I've been doing, that and organizing my room.

I did take my motorcycle out for a ride yesterday, and today I shot my bow for a while.

This upcoming week I have to meet 2 potential renters for my old house here in my hometown so that will take up some of my evening time. I'm going to see a movie with my parents and brother tomorrow. Wednesday I have to drive in to work (2 hours) and then therapy, see my SS, and then have a beer with a buddy, then drive back home so that will be a late night. As for the weekend I'm hoping to catch up with some old friends, but nothing set yet.

[fightin]

Oh and duh, Thanksgiving! I'm having dinner with my family here and then my SS's dad and stepmom invited me to come to their dinner on Saturday.

[j20a00g]

That's a common (if not thee most common) fear....pushing them away by not responding.

As we pull away they come closer. Human nature. Hard part is pulling away. Your heart knows you need to, your mind knows it will work, but we still have troubles doing it.