Still lost, still confused (part 2)

[j20a00g]

Starting a new thread since the other hit 100 posts. You can catch it here: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2716871&page=1

So lost, so confused part 1

[j20a00g]

So I read through all of sandi's threads again. I know that we treat WW and MLC pretty much the same but I still wonder if she is MLC or "just" WW? Again, I know it doesn't matter really other than perhaps possible timelines. Also seeing as MLC is not "testable" like other situations, it appears that many if not most WW could be classified as MLC from what I've been reading here and elsewhere.

I still haven't been served as promised nor has it been mentioned since the last time when I validated her after saying it. Appears to have took away the sting she was using it for. Interestingly enough, she also talked about some financial stuff happening in January regarding payment without saying something about divorcing. Not taking it as a positive or hanging on the words but merely an observation that when I validated the divorce comment last time, it hasn't been mentioned as a threat. Perhaps just waiting til after the holidays.

Starting a new gym tomorrow. Going to try out some cross fit. Then dinner with a friend. I purposely scheduled a super light work week this week since it's D7 is turning into D8 and we will be going to a theme park on Tuesday and the holiday is thurs. tomorrow I will be dropping D's off at MIL who has been supportive of A and S. In the beginning she was supportive of us working it out but for whatever reason a switch was flipped and anything her and I would talk about would make it right to W within minutes. Because of that I no longer speak to her. All the little cousins are getting together tomorrow to do crafts so that's the only reason I'm going to be dropping them.

While I know I have only been a member here for a few months, this sitch started really over a year ago. As I reflect, I look at how much I've survived and at the same time think about how I can't do this forever....or even too too much longer.

[Jug]

It's too bad about your mil situation but I think you are handling it correctly.

As for your last paragraph, everyone here has or had the same struggle. Only you can decide when enough is enough. Like you said, you've been through a lot. Do you think you would have been able to get through all of this a year ago?

[j20a00g]

A year ago? No way. About a year ago is when the emotional abuse and attacks started coming. Definitely have come a long way from even July but, :58@@ seems as if there is little/no hope

[Jug]

One of the struggles for me is that my hope comes and goes. This forces me to get really honest about how and what I'm doing to change my situation and what my strategy is. I've also been "living this" for over a year but not knowing what's been really going on until about five months ago. When I did find out, I didn't think I could go five months like this.

[MoveFrwd]

As I reflect, I look at how much I've survived and at the same time think about how I can't do this forever....or even too too much longer.

Do...what...exactly?

Whats your alternative?

[MoveFrwd]

It's just so hard knowing that they want so badly to spend one with her and she pawns them off without even an option for them to spend time with me.

In my opinion, you arent mad that she isnt asking you; you are mad that shes going to see OM. It [censored] for the kids, I get it. But, you cant control her relationship with them.

What I want is for my kids to not be locked in a bedroom while she sneaks him in and then for her to come into their room stark naked after they made too much noise.

Im not going to argue with you, but it's strange that she has a room that locks from the outside. And I do agree that it's strange that she would go in naked, but my ex used to sleep naked and would periodically go see my kids of the same sex without putting clothes on.

That said, it doesnt sound like a good situation either way. I would document it. If/when you go for full custody, these are the kinds of things that will help your case.

For them to experience their mom again and not this sex crazed psycho. For them to know that they are loved by both parents since that's how this whole separation was presented and promised.

I hate that you and they are going through this. I think the stories that you are sharing are deplorable. That said, to me, it sounds like you are shifting some of your pain on to them. Changing some of the words from 'their mom' to 'my wife' sounds just as plausible. Not saying you are, but it looks like it to me from the words on the screen.


I would like to ask, why are you getting these kinds of stories? When my kids come back from my ex's, I try to ask only very limited questions just to find out what kinds of things they did so I can be involved in their life. To get to the level of detail that your W came into a locked room naked is a little odd.

[j20a00g]

My kids were skyping me as it was happening. They called to tell me that they didn't want to be there. I told them to ask their mom if they could come Ronny house since she wasn't answering when I called. They said her door was locked and that they were also told that if they left their room before morning or even opened that they would be punished. That's when she barged in naked as she heard them talking to me.

This morning she met with her attorney to get paperwork to discuss with me. I told her that I'll be retaining a lawyer. It was so nice of her to come to the house this morning and wake up the kids because she tried coming in and the alarm went off. Just how I wanted to start my day at 830 was with a packet from an attorney.....day before D7's birthday and 2 days before thanksgiving.

[ForGump]

What I want is for my kids to not be locked in a bedroom while she sneaks him in and then for her to come into their room stark naked after they made too much noise.

Inappropriate for children of any age. If it continues, I'm afraid it's time to file.

[j20a00g]

"Ronny house" should say "to my house"