eh... been a bit blah lately but thanks for checking in!
I have definitely been colder to WW. I can't seem to help it at the moment. We did have dinner last night at her request, I purposely didn't ask her to do anything... I would say it was meh, we've had better.
We did get into a bit of an R talk. She mentioned for the 1000th time that we should go talk to someone but then in the same breath mentioned how much she dreaded that (mmm.... ok?) because it makes her uncomfortable to talk about certain things (great). I agreed that we should talk to someone (obviously). Then she started discussing our 'chemistry' issues again and how great I am and how perfect everything is besides that. Yea we had this conversation already on BD day remember? I got really frustrated actually and just wanted to go home but was able to refocus and at least make the most of the night. It really did feel like I was being transported back in time 17 months. I basically said... look either you want to be with me 1,000,000 percent and you want to work on those issues or you don't and if you don't then let's cut to the chase and get a move on. It seemed like a change from other things she had been saying lately. Maybe it is because I have backed away so much, not sure. Then she got into how everyone hates her and how that would be an issue. Shes making excuses is what she is doing. It makes me really think that something like this happening again if we got back together is likely. I made a mistake and said I have been 'waiting' for her for 17 months... I didn't mean 'waiting', it came out wrong, but it is what I said and she picked up on that right away. She mentioned how I shouldn't be waiting and if I need to move on then I should, again eye brow went up.
When I got home she sent me a text that said "I had a good time with you and thanks for dinner... I want things to be good I hope you know that".... wtf does that mean? Things could be 'good' in a million different ways.
I visited a different forum before coming here and basically what they told me was that WW's personality will make this likely to happen again unless she really really changes. The caller her a 'freeloader'. They suggested I cut my losses and find someone who will really love me back. I am beginning to think they were right. I am really debating what to do. I think if she asks to come visit her fam on thanksgiving I will decline saying I don't want to give them the wrong idea and offer that she can come visit me after she sees them.
Maybe I am just reading too much into things but definitely did not leave that dinner with a good vibe.
So besides that bla bla bla... life is good! Ran a 5K in my town today after hitting the gym. It was good but cold and windy! Have a 5 miler on t-day and hope to beat my time from last year. Oh and I booked my tickets for Hawaii tonight!!! Woot woot.
Might need some new GAL activities. Maybe look into becoming a personal trainer? Maybe set the marathon goal for 2017? I would like to do a tri as well. Maybe join a running group or a tri group, meet some new people.
