I think your h is being his old PA self and is picking fights to justify not being a participant "family" member over the holidays. He may be working up to a snit to find an excuse to stay home while you are gone.

His behavior is so much like my xh's pre-crisis. Every holiday and my birthday, he would work up to argument level to ruin the special time. It was like clock work. It took me years to figure out that he was not comfortable being around my family and didn't want anyone to have the attention but him. So sad, because my family treated him just like a son...but it was his loss.

You've got this. Any mention of putting up the tree yet?

Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.