Thanks for all the comments. I'll check out your recommendation Vanilla. Today things came to a head. W decided that she would go to the game despite S asking her not to. Her sister, friend and Aunt came too. They have come before and I've had no problems. She arrived late and then sat downside me. I continued laughing and joking with other parents for the first half. Other parents came over to chat so I was drawn into more conversations with her. The result was that W asked could she come with S and I for the next away trip. Had to point out S had asked her not to come. When can I see him then?, I am his mum etc. when S was substituted he looked up and gave her a killer look. Obviously everyone in her family noticed too. After game she tried to move in for a hug with him while he was playing with small kids. He turned his back. Sister in law suggested a general family drink ! S decided he wanted to go home. W followed asking why he was angry. S replied because basketball was his thing and she distracted him. She asked why he didn't want her to come repeatedly until he replied she should work it out. I persuaded S to go to the car while I talked to W. She kept repeating she was his mother which I agreed with but also suggested she should think about why he doesn't want to see her. She still can't see why, even after a year. She cried on my shoulder and hugged me close, kissing my neck. I didn't offer to intervene and used her words when she left me. You can't make people feel things they don't feel. She looked so forlorn that I said I didn't hate her and to look after herself. She said the same, kissed me goodbye and left. S recovered quickly and we've been busy since. How do I feel? Sad that we lost our R, said that she still refuses to think why her S doesn't want to know her and sad that I have to stand watching her humiliated in public. I know it was her own fault for putting herself in that position but I feel empathy, a quality she has missed all weekend as every action has been I or me but never how her own S might feel.
