Well the ww strikes again. W texted to say D was sick. I offered for W to bring D over while she drove in my town (drunk college kids) for luber. W replied she didn't want to confuse D....ummm ok Cus w only had D meet 2+ people In 3 'months...but all of a sudden W is concerned about sending mixed signals to d?! BS! Then 30 mins later got a text from w to check my email. "I'm just not sure where I'm at right now. I'm still seeing the person I'm with, and I'm having issues deciding where it is I want to be. I feel like going to counseling would/could be good for you and I, but I'm stuck in this weird place bc I am also in a relationship... please just try to understand that I am struggling with this, and trying to make the best decision for me and D. I need a little more time to think on things before we meet... I'm so sorry to "chicken out" last minute like this, but I just don't feel right about this tonight..I'm so sorry, again. Please forgive me..." to which I replied by text Me- you're right I need time too. W- I'm so sorry... W- please don't hate me.
To all this I felt like replying eff you. It's so easy to tell me not to come back to MY home. Yet it's hard for her to tell SOW bye. Heck no. After re reading this email it's all selfish, I and me and I and more me. I'm not just sitting here waiting around for her. It might seem like that right now because she cried and asked for forgiveness but I was ok on my path. I'm pretty angry. Mainly at myself for letting me think W was going to come over and tell me SOW was out of the picture and that she wanted to work us out.
Also my little brother texted me that w added him on snapchat..I told him to ignore the request (he's only 14 so he listens) but after a beer I started to wonder how she found him when even I couldn't find his user name...just TODAY the prepaid phone arrived in the mail for him with a NEW number. One I texted and called most of the afternoon, w still has access to my phone records. So it dawned on me W had to check my phone records to see his number to add it in her phone to add him on snap to figure out who I'm talking to. It's too much. I don't doubt she's been doing this to all the numbers I've texted. I feel like telling her to leave me alone. She is so concerned about who I'm seeing talking and hanging out with yet she's sleeping with SOW.
Why I'm the world am I doing this? Why am I allowing my W to treat me this way? Is this worth it?
