Struggling

[fightin]

So I found out unintentionally that my W has not told any of her family aside from her mother about our split. I ended up doing her job for her. I had been getting questions here and there via Facebook about no longer being friends with my W. We both changed our profile pics, etc. as we had each other in them. So I made a very classy post about our split and that her happiness is just as important as mine, and that I wish her well.

Let the flood gates open. No one knew from her family. I just told those that asked to get the story from her. I wasn't going to tell her side of it. She promised me (I did not ask this of her at all) that she'd tell the truth that she cheated, but I don't believe her. Even if she says she cheated it will be justified by "I just wasn't happy" and "OW makes me feel happy in a way I never have before". That's fine, she can justify it until she's blue in the face for all I care.

The thing that got me the most, is that she still hasn't told my SS's dad. I told him unintentionally as well thinking she had already told him. You'd think as a mother she'd want to prepare his dad so he'd know what was going on and how to comfort his son. Obviously she isn't thinking of anyone but herself right now. I know she's so lost in the fog.

Of course I want her back, and yes, I know we'll have to start over with something new, but as stubborn and prideful as she already is I'm not she'd ever admit she was wrong even if this A goes down in flames. I guess that isn't for me to worry about though.

It's funny. It is so weird for me to leave this home we've made together, but it was so hard for me to get comfortable here. I had only ever lived in my hometown and I moved across the state to be with her so it took a lot of adjusting, but now this place has become my home. It's just a house, I know that, and it clearly isn't my home anymore in any sense of the word given the circumstances, but I think you understand what I'm saying.

I'll be seeing her tonight as we have my SS. It will be our last night in the house together as I'm moving out tomorrow. I don't know if she even plans on staying over night here because they are going to leave while I move so they might go tonight. Who knows, but it will be the first time in 3 days we've spent any time around one another as she's been "living" with the OW until I move out when we don't have my SS.

I'm going to do my best tonight to be happy and cheerful around her instead of angry and cold. I'd like to leave her with a 180.