Thank you for your reply Altair. I don't know enough about girls with ASD yet, my head is all over the place at the moment and I didn't really look into it yet.
Yesterday was a pretty bad day. I had a huge setback in my DBing efforts and broke every rule in the book
Basically H looked after D2 the day before yesterday so that I could go to my meeting. When aI came home I felt like he was checking on me, asking if I was working that morning, if I get paid for word and on top of his usual anger and hatred there was a hint of criticism. I was nice at the time, but I later realised his attitude was because the house was messy (which it shouldn't be, I totally agree). I had a horrible week with the baby's assessment and kids playing up and it was messy. Nothing extreme, just not tidied up before going to work, so the beds and living room were not done. The kitchen was immaculate. I felt awful so I asked him to please not criticise and to try and support me. He usually ignores all messages but he replied and his reply was full of vile. Apparently he is not happy with the mess the kids have to live in, because they will grow to be messy unorganised people. I should be better with their discipline. And if I had concerns about D2 being on the spectrum I should not have had any children after S10 was diagnosed, now that we do we should just deal with it. I found that to be disgusting behaviour and I burst into tears shaking when I read it. I replied very strongly that he shouldn't give me parenting advice while he is the one setting up the kids for failure. I asked him to try two rI with me so that we can rebuild a friendship for our kids. He then sent me photos of the mess. He took photos. Apparently he didn't criticise he just expected and apology. I thanked him for his feedback and apologised, there is no point in this fight. But I am so upset. And angry with myself for engaging in discussion with a bully.
I'm going to avoid him this weekend, he is so bitter and spiteful at the moment that being around him hurts me. Why is he becoming so toxic? And why is he so angry?
"There's nothing sadder than a conman conning himself"
“There is freedom waiting for you, On the breezes of the sky, And you ask "What if I fall?" Oh but my darling, What if you fly?”
