good morning all and thanks for being so patient to the time i needed to get back in the groove. i am totally not in it yet, but i need to start posting again, keep up with my positives because that truly does help.
for those who have been following my story here are my previous threads...
when we last left the saga of my life, i was on my way to california for what started out to be a 5 week trip to help my niece thru major surgery, it turned out to be 8 weeks in all
it was grueling, but i will spare you all the details, as most of you know how life might be like with 7 children at your feet all day - UGH
i left here writing my husband a 3 page letter asking for forgiveness for all the things i had done wrong in our married life (don't worry, i got editors from the board to look it over before i gave it to him) - to which i have gotten about three references so far in conversations with him since then - he appreciated the letter.
in looking over my "motivational" quote for the day...
Quote: ... it is as if the cosmos is conspiring to confront you with a crucial fact. If you won't turn to look at it, it will step in front of you, yelling, "Recognise me!" You KNOW what you are ignoring. When you finally, reluctantly acknowledge this, life will instantly get SO much easier. No matter what went wrong, things are different now. Doors which once were locked are open. Problems which couldn't be solved before can be sorted out now.
i find the bold in this to be true for my life right now.
things are different now. i have been home a week and there seems to be a calmness in the air. there seems to be more open conversation about our future. there seems to be more affection between ALL members of the family. there seems to be a realization that there really is something that can be worked on, all is NOT hopeless. there seems to be a general "home" feeling coming back. there seems to be a natural "doing things together as a family" attitude prevailing in these walls.
all in all, things do feel different.
is it me? is it him? i don't know but i taking it one day at a time. let me tell you, i have learned what STRESS is - i have learned what i DON'T want out of life and i have certainly expressed it to my husband and my family.
there seems to be a general leaning towards accepting my friendship for what it is.
there seems to be a general change in my attitude as well. these two months have finally taught me how to TRULY drop the rope. it has taught me for one, that i don't need to be in the middle of everything and the world still survive. it has also taught my husband that he truly is his own person, and can handle things on his own (tho he has expressed to more than one person he does NOT want that)
