Yesterday was such a great day. I was strong and happy, but today I am feeling pretty empty. The fact that I'm moving out of my home and this life that I've built for over the last 3 years is really sinking in. While I certainly do want to change myself for the better, this isn't how I wanted to do it. Maybe it was the only way and that's why I'm here. I don't know. I waver between wanting my W back (I know she'll never be the same) and trying to accept that I have to move on without her. It's been 2 weeks since I went from what I thought was happily married to moving out. My head is spinning and I'm hurting.
Wavering back is definitely the hard part. I think what really helps me is the realization that the wife I want back doesn't exist anymore...There is no going back.
Instead, I look forward to a new relationship. And maybe, that new relationship can be with the person my wife has become once she sorts through all of this. If not, that's ok too.
