MLC H at age 32, maybe single mum with a toddler S

[fightin]

Yes, your situation definitely has a bit of a twist to it that adds to its complexity. I don't have any answers for you regarding that, but I commend you for being open minded about it and maybe one day you will be able to openly discuss it with your H whether or not as your H or a friend.

You're way ahead of me if you're good at being upbeat. I have yet to conquer that and instead my W thinks I hate her because I am distant and try to be indifferent to her compliments.

Sounds like he is so very confused and trying to figure this part of himself out. For that he will definitely need space and time and patience. He may very well be questioning his sexuality and/or masculinity. When he's ready to talk to you about it, he will, and your open mindedness will be a huge relief to him.

Other than that I can just offer my sympathy and support. Keep posting, keep reading, and keep being strong!