was or what 8

[roist]

Yesterday I spoke with a mate of mine, who is a WH. He is in the process of separating. Regardless of our different views on things, I listened as an unjudging friend, without any opinions.

He came across as logical and not uncaring. It was interesting to see his side of things. One point he made rang home to me.

He and his W have not been happy together a long long time. He stated he knows many couples continue to live that way but that is not a way to live. Yes the children's happiness needs to be considered but also that of the parents. Living in an unhappy M, I can understand that. It is not a way tolive.

He recently told W about OW. He understands why his W considers it that he cheated on her!! I said I agreed with her. His belief is that they were dead as a couple for years and he is not leaving for someone else. That is secondary or at worst just quickened the inevitable.

He is not aware of my situation.

On a separate note, with my job I work in other peoples homes.I observe snippits of how other couples interact. I see some blatantly poor interactions at times. Poor tones. Superiority complexes.inconsideration. some nice guy symptoms and I hear words that show disrespect/undermineb the other, even though probably not intentionally.It saddens me that I get to see such interactions as if they are present when an outsider can observe it , those couples are in danger without realising it yet.

I too would not have noticed such stuff before.I am thankful that I am now aware or such dynamics and their consequences. When my crisis is over I would not mind being trained as a DB coach. Maybe Michelle could do with one in Europe!!

However all the stuff I observe in other couples is not all bad. I am finishing a long job in a friends house. He is talky by nature with everyone.He talks a lot with his W about everything and anything.Their interactions ate great to hear. Then I come home to the opposite.Sometimrs awareness has a price.

Best wishes