Focus on Me and the Boys 10

[J5K]

Thank you Sara,

I truly do understand I cannot control any conversations that she has with the boys or what she does. My intent was to communicate that if she had any concerns with the boys on therapy or medication to discuss with me.

V,

I am trying very hard to not ping pong, I truly am.

Two days ago we ping ponged again over division of the furniture. I will spare the details of the emails. The one response that stood out to me is the following from XW.

XW: I offered a more than fair list (whatever you had "pre-marriage" is the same as the gifted stuff. So stop throwing that around like it means something. I mean honestly I made it more than fair. Making sure all the big ticket items our parents purchased for us went to the proper person.

She continues to comment and act on feelings and emotions. I won't even call it entitlement anymore. Even my L agreed after she saw the email chain that just because XW's parents bought the household items does not mean that XW owns them.

Yesterday I think I did a bit better with less ping pong.

Here are the texts:

XW: Any word on what's happening with the division of property?
Me: Nope
Me: What weekend would you like to have your visit in December?
XW: I get the kids for Christmas
XW: Their last day is the 22 or 23?
Me: 22nd and you have them until 9pm on the 24th this year.
XW: No that's not right
Me: Read the agreement.
XW: It's an even year so I have them on Christmas
Me: You have them odd years
XW: Oh
XW: Ok fine whatever
XW: So I guess I get them the 28 or 29? They go back on the 4th?
Me: No read the agreement. Have to get back to work
XW: I've read the agreement Jim
XW: You want them the whole break? Fine
XW: I'm done fighting with you
XW: As for the property we can put it all up for grabs
Me: We are going to arbitration
XW: And whatever neither of us wants well sell and split
XW: Well I don't want any of it
XW: It's not worth paying to move it and store it here
XW: I don't have the money to do that
Me: That must be tough
XW: Yes it is
XW: As far as the agreement goes
XW: We split the Christmas break
XW: And I get the kids this Christmas Day
XW: So I would have them from the 22 to about the 28
XW: We split it in half
XW: Just spoke to the lawyer
XW: I'm right
XW: We split half the break
XW: If having them on Christmas Day is a big deal to you I don't care if you have them from the 22-28/29
XW: Just let me know so I can arrange things on my end

So at this point I send XW an email and copy my L.

Per our text conversation earlier today, we are not in agreement with the Christmas Break parenting time which now falls to the default schedule B (I copy the paragraphs of the agreement and schedule into the email).

XW: Jim I'm very confused by this
XW: Do you want me to only have the kids 2 days over the break and you get the rest of the time?
XW: Is that what's "in dispute"?
XW: Are you seriously not willing to split the time evenly?
XW: Well I guess the best weekend for me to have the kids would be December 2, 3 and 4 to space out the traveling for them.
Me: Ok
XW: Any chance you'd want to meet earlier than 7 on that Friday?
XW: Traffic going to London at that time is crazy
Me: Nope
XW: Ok

Later in the afternoon I send a follow up text:

Me: We are following the schedule in the JOD. This applies to me next year.

XW: Oh whatever Jim, this would not apply to you next year, you know why? Because I would split the Christmas break 50/50 with you. Because that would be the kind and decent and right thing to do not only as a person but more so as a parent because the boys should enjoy the holidays with each of us.

I really don't know how to take this last comment of hers. If XW and I were separated maybe I would agree to a split for the holidays, but I see things more black and white, this is what she wanted so this is what we will stick to.

Am I being unreasonable? My M is over, the agreement is signed by both of us, the judge still has to sign and it has been almost a year we have been apart and a year and a half since BD.