DDJ, I agree love is a choice. I choose each day to be with H. I try to love him each day as well. But to fall in love again--well how do you suggest I do that? Surrender my heart, but how? I would be a fool if I didn't learn a lesson here--and that he or anyone else can hurt me--anyone can hurt us if we let them-- and really, we can only rely on ourselves in life. I will never need another person.
so how does one fall in love with someone? I believe that we are born to fall, but the fear of getting hurt keeps us from falling. Ordinary love is painful and who really wants pain. BUt if you think about your first few years together, that feeling of being in love was perfection. Nothing could break that feeling, you were walking on water together. Then he fell out of love, broke your heart and you both sank into the lake.
Now facing the pain, facing the fear and just letting go of it is the key. But you have to break your heart one last time in order to let go and surrender to the love that your mind is stopping you from feeling.
You look at your H with consternation and fear, anxiety and sadness of a life once lived. And you're losing out on the best moments of your life - right now. Forget about the future, forget about the past.
Just jump, jump into his arms one day and never let him go!
Just cos things are going right, doesn't mean that they were always wrong.
