My opinion - She left the house. She lost her full access to her children. Make a schedule and stick with it. I think she should watch the children at her place, assuming it's safe for them to be there. If not, I suppose she can get limited visitation while you pursue full custody. Allowing her to come and go as she pleases is cake-eating.
miky I feel for you. My W is having an A openly and refuses to stop. We have to do everything in our power to remember exactly what cadet said, they are aliens right now. Their heads are not in the place we wish it was and we certainly can't force them to want to be with us.
Your situation with kids is a difficult one. If you have friends willing to hang out with you and your children, even better if they have children of their own that can play with your kids. Then at least you'll get a start to having adult conversations and spending time with people that make you feel good about yourself.
Me: 35 W: 32 MR: 2y T: 3.5y SS11 BD: 11/3/16 EA: 10/26/16 PA: 11/11/16 W asks for S/D & ILYBINILWY 11/13/16 Status: I moved out 11/19/16, GAL I filed for D: 12/14/16 D-day: 3/10/17
miky I feel for you. My W is having an A openly and refuses to stop. We have to do everything in our power to remember exactly what cadet said, they are aliens right now. Their heads are not in the place we wish it was and we certainly can't force them to want to be with us.
Your situation with kids is a difficult one. If you have friends willing to hang out with you and your children, even better if they have children of their own that can play with your kids. Then at least you'll get a start to having adult conversations and spending time with people that make you feel good about yourself.
The problem is I moved away from family a friends to live closer to her family. I am isolated here. I do have a few coworkers who have offered, and maybe I should take them up on it.
I am just so mad at her when I think it is an affair. Sometimes I think the only reason I second guess it is to protect myself from the pain. For months I believed her that she was going through some deep depression (and maybe it started out that way) despite knowing in my heart of hearts it was a lie.
My opinion - She left the house. She lost her full access to her children. Make a schedule and stick with it. I think she should watch the children at her place, assuming it's safe for them to be there. If not, I suppose she can get limited visitation while you pursue full custody. Allowing her to come and go as she pleases is cake-eating.
Nicely put in my view. Agree with this.
V
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
First off, any tips for GAL when your WW leaves you with the kids and up until a week ago has made almost 0 effort to see them? I don't have much in the way of family in the area, and the kids are young (7 and 4). It's tough to have a life when my life pretty much revolves around work and them
I have kids around the same age. Some things I did/do:
- find a gym that has a day care or child center. This will let you take your kids to the gym while you work out. If they have a pool, thats even better as you can go with your kids there for an hour or 2 on the weekends or at night. - find local things that you can do with the kids cheaply. Libraries, museums, play areas, etc. A lot of times, there are many community events aimed at children as well. Find them and go. You will draw happiness from their happiness. - arrange activities and play dates for your kids. If you can do parties for holidays or special events, that will help you as well as youcan get wrapped up in the planning and cooking of the event. Letting your children invite their school friends will improve your relationship with them and you may meet new friends. - volunteer for community service. I imagine there are activities that your kids can help with. Or volunteer at their schools during the week.
Well, it is official...It is a full blown PA and they might even be living together. At the very least he is staying over.
I know this because after confronting her on Friday (I know, I know) in the nicest, most non-confrontational way I could think of about how I understand how emotional affairs can happen under extreme stress, she blew me off and went back to her depression story.
So I asked her on Saturday if she wanted to hang out (kids were at in-laws) and got a no. Asked if she wanted to get breakfast on Sunday, she said no. So I suspected. And brought her breakfast without notice. He was there. At least I know now.
At first, I wanted nothing to do with her. But now, I am back to thinking I at least want to try. So I will embrace DB tactics now that I know for sure she is a WW. What do I have to lose I guess.
I know this might be a silly question and all, considering the name of the forums and all...
But how far do I go down the road with regards to divorce/dissolution? I have met with a lawyer to understand my options, opened a separate checking account, taken her/my name off of credit cards and potentially insurance. Update my life insurance to pay out for my kids.
Is that enough? Do I pursue a dissolution, or at least start working on the paperwork to communicate I am serious, (I am, sorta...I will not wait forever) or do I just wait it out and look week when she calls my bluff?
I don't want a divorce/dissolution...but it feels inevitable at this point and I fear if I don't initiate it she may lawyer up and cause problems. Maybe not even worry about it for now? I am mostly protected.
