Wife has filed for divorce

[ngs]

TxHubby - First I do thank you for response and I am sorry for what you have had to go through because no one deserves that, I went back through your thread. I really appreciate the perspective from the other side and I have read through many of them here.

My W never deserved what I have done to her, she is a perfect, beautiful, loyal W and all I could have ever hoped for in a woman. I have caused her so much undeserved pain and anguish in her life.

I spent many years with my mind feeling like it was tied in knots and constantly being pulled tighter, and this was a real physical pain that I felt and the only thing that felt like it would make it go away was suicide. The only reason I didn't was because I had a family to support that outweighed my selfish desire for suicide.

And I know and realized that the pain I felt was nowhere even close to the pain that I had caused to the person I loved the most. I have a really hard time living with myself knowing what I've done to her. I hope my previous posts have not come across as me being the victim because clearly I am not, I'm just someone still hoping my marriage can be saved.

You are the first betrayed spouse I have ever "talked" to outside of my marriage. I appreciate the response and your words and will always welcome more from you. I have 5 months till my divorce will be final and I understand why my w wants it even after these many years and I have only love for her, I have no anger towards her whatsoever for her filing.