She moved out...now the work begins...II

[ericmsant2]

SBJ

Her response was golden...she said that I have always been her buffer between her and them. Hasn't she fired me from that role?

NO she has not fired you. However, you can “resign” from the role of buffer. Stepping aside and allowing her to deal with this is IMHO a win win. You win as you are no longer put in the middle of something you have no place in and she wins as she hopefully learns to grow up and deal with this.

She came to my house this evening to get something for the kids and I sat and listened to her for quite a while without preaching. It is funny how she wants out of our M, but still needs the R when it's handy. I tried to validate her without giving my real opinion.

You are still making everything about HER. You listened even though it seems you did not want to (about her). You did not “preach”, which I get, I suspect though the reason was to not upset HER. When you really start making this about YOU…your response will be different.

Maybe…next time you say in a very nice way….that you have things to do and have to go. If you want to more direct – tell her that this is not your issue.

The W is trying to get me to just use her attorney and keep the cost down...she has stated that there are no demands in the papers and that everything says that the parties will agree on everything. I am really struggling with this. Do I retain an attorney to cover my ass and really piss her off more? I understand that at this stage it is about covering my @$$, but I also don't really want to spend $5k either.

Secure your own attny UNLESS you both sign a “collaborative” agreement with the attny. Even then my advice would be to secure your own attny. That said, your attny works for YOU. They can be a pitbull if YOU want to. As for the money, 5k spent now may be well worth it, especially if you avoid long term costs that could be in the 10’s of thousand. I would wait until you are served and then see what it says.