New to the Boards. Marriage in Crisis.

[Chris73]

Detaching seems to be working. This is not to say that it's helping my relationship, but it's working for me.

Yesterday I had an individual session with our MC. After it ended I had a VM from my W:

"Hi. Just wanted to see how your session went..."

(something I DIDN'T ask her about last week when she went)

"...also, I wanted to let you know that I certainly do appreciate all the things you've been doing to help the family and us. It hasn't gone unnoticed. So I just wanted to say thank you..."

Not gonna lie, this VM made me swoon! But I didn't call or txt her back. I went on with my day. About 2 hours later I get a txt from her:

"You ok?"

ME "Hi. Yes, perfect. Got your message. Thanks!"

She eventually stopped home inbetween work appointments and discovered me painting our bathroom. This was clearly a bit of a shock because I didn't mention it. I didn't consult with her on it. I knew what color she wanted so I just did it. I consider it an exercise in "manning-up".

My last bit of info has to do with asking for what you want. In my MC session yesterday the therapist told me that I need to be more direct with my W. So knowing that she was softening a bit and likely impressed with my paint job, I used the opportunity to ask for a favor...