Today Ive learnt what a support network can bring. I love the people around me.
I'm trying all that I can, every day and am so grateful for everything that I do have.
GAL, it's a phrase I hear a lot... I continue to try every day and will do so because I have to. Thank you Darkness, your continued support means a lot!
M - 36 / W - 32 S - 3 Together - 18 Yrs / Married - 10 Yrs Bomb Dropped - 4th Sept 2016 Moved out - 4th Sept 2016
Hey Wes, there are a LOT of similarities between us (4th Sept was a sucky day for us).
I always try to remain as positive as I can but the loss of a M and a family are just so devastating. When the family was your life, its difficult to know where to start with GAL.
BUT just because I'm down does not mean that I'm out! I will get through this and one day I'll be ok.
M - 36 / W - 32 S - 3 Together - 18 Yrs / Married - 10 Yrs Bomb Dropped - 4th Sept 2016 Moved out - 4th Sept 2016
I've noticed a lot more strength in myself this week. Its like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders, it difficult to explain. I know that I'm going to be ok! Maybe not tomorrow, or next week, or even next year, but I WILL be ok.
The W on the other hand will only start to go through the processes that I've been going through when she moves into her own place. She'll have to learn what life is like without a partner, what its like to be on your own and how hard it is to juggle everything all at once without much support.
(yes it is possible that she'll find someone and I'll deal with that when I need to).
Right now I have an understanding of why some of my previous behavior was deemed as controlling and I can work on that. I accept and own the responsibility for the issues I've caused in the M and will continue to work om myself for me & my S. If one day that an impact on her, then so be it and if not I'll be in a better position myself.
This is today's attitude and I like it for what it is today (I know that tomorrow may be different, so I'll enjoy today for what it is).
Hope everyone else can take some joy from whatever they can.
M - 36 / W - 32 S - 3 Together - 18 Yrs / Married - 10 Yrs Bomb Dropped - 4th Sept 2016 Moved out - 4th Sept 2016
The W on the other hand will only start to go through the processes that I've been going through when she moves into her own place. She'll have to learn what life is like without a partner, what its like to be on your own and how hard it is to juggle everything all at once without much support.
Honestly, Id stop worrying so much about this. Who knows what shes doing or thinking. I tried to frame everything I could with regards to my ex in a way that would lean us towards reconciling, but all it did was wear me out.
Originally Posted By: RBG80
Right now I have an understanding of why some of my previous behavior was deemed as controlling and I can work on that. I accept and own the responsibility for the issues I've caused in the M and will continue to work om myself for me & my S. If one day that an impact on her, then so be it and if not I'll be in a better position myself.
This is much more important. Focus on your side of the street. You got this.
You know for the first time Darkness, I do feel that I've got this!
I know its a rough road, but I can see the support that I've got alongside me and I know that I'll be alright.
I know that its still negative to think about the W, but 18 years of concern is difficult to stop. I still think about this a lot, but I'm able to stop myself from over analysing (most of the time); I understand that I have no control over the situation and can accept that.
I'll carry on doing what I do
M - 36 / W - 32 S - 3 Together - 18 Yrs / Married - 10 Yrs Bomb Dropped - 4th Sept 2016 Moved out - 4th Sept 2016
Rbg(can't help but think of the Supreme Court justice now)-
It sounds like you are doing better. What are your short term plans and goals?
- m and ww in 30s - s4 - m 11 yrs, t12 -ilybinilwy ~5/16 + request for OM - bd 7/16, confirm ea and strongly suspected pa - 9/16 ww claimed to have broken contact with om
Sounds Cheesy I know but just to be happy. How am I going to do that you may ask?...
That's the question isn't it. Changing my attitude is the first step. Knowing that I have no control over certain situations and trying to accept them for what they are is the most important thing I can do. I need to be kinder to myself and own the mistakes I have made.
I will be concentrating on what I can control. Changing my surroundings at home so there is no longer a visual reminder of the M - photos being replaced with photos of my S (so there is a positive visualisation instead). I'm also fixing up a bits in the house that need doing.
I've also added a small lamp to my bedside table so that I can read in bed and have a little time to myself lost in a book.
Finally, I continue to frequent the gym. I'm noting a real difference in the fit of my clothes and feel a whole lot better in myself.
This maybe the start of detachment as I feel that the lack of control is actually quite liberating. I'd love to have my W back, but will not be her safety net - We can only move forward under a new M, a rebirth of the relationship and until she sees this (if she ever does), I'll continue on my own path!
M - 36 / W - 32 S - 3 Together - 18 Yrs / Married - 10 Yrs Bomb Dropped - 4th Sept 2016 Moved out - 4th Sept 2016
