Oh my! Sounds like the MIL isn't happy because the free ride and meal are not happening this year. In my family we each bring a dish and don't expect our mother to pay for the entire meal.
As far as being rude...I don't see that at all. I see a woman advising them that the kitchen is under construction and you won't be hosting dinner this year. You have even gone to lengths to offer up a suggestion of them going some place to eat and what it would cost each individual. No where did I see you say that they pay the bill. Your MIL is the one that is rude and PA. She should have addressed the issue w/you since you are the one that sent the email.
Lesson here is that you can't please everybody....just please yourself. It doesn't matter what you do or don't do, there will be a few that are unhappy. I certainly wouldn't cough up the money to take all of them out to dinner. It's time you looked out for yourself and this is one dinner you can go out to eat and just relax. That's a positive.
HaWho has given you some good advice. I do think it's time to set some boundaries because you are allowing others to dictate how you are going to take care of their Thanksgiving dinner...not your place to worry about all of them. They are all adults and can elsewhere or decide to take turns having dinner in their homes...but your kitchen is closed this year due to a leak...nothing you can do about that.
Take care and BTW, there are a lot of places open Turkey Day and none of you have to spend a fortune on dinner.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
