New LBH with WAW/Possibly WW, help Part 2

[Georgia Bulldogs]

You are doing great. Went back and read your previous thread to remind myself of your timeline and you just exposed her and OM dumped her around Oct 10th so 4 weeks of expected withdrawal and already your wife (and her supposed stubbornness) is calming down.

She's gone from a crying mess removing light switch covers in anticipation of moving out within days or weeks (after buying a house, no less) and NOT going to thanksgiving dinner to putting off the separation/divorce until next year whenever YOU want.

This women is just waiting to be lead.
This women is just waiting to be cherished.

She's still withdrawing and probably leaning a bit towards sticking to her stubbornness for the next week or so after seeing a lawyer; but you're chipping away at her resolve.

Stick to the 180 plan I set out for you.

Also, her reaction to the flowers is classic wayward thinking. Initially she perked up and loved the feeling that somebody loved her and cherished her. Wayward wives live on admiration. Then she checked herself because she's still hesitant and resistant to thinking she loves or could love you again. The reason MWD says not to buy her gifts and shower her with ILY's is because it reminds them of the fact that they don't feel the same about you and it's a little wimpy looking to be chasing "desperately" after a girl that doesn't feel that way about you. On the other hand, women (especially wayward thinking women) love romance and to be chased and cherished. They WANT love and think love just happens like something you trip over without reason or explanation. Walking that line is difficult but I think you handled it well with the flowers. She reacted excited, then checked herself and tried to ascertain your level of expectations and feeling behind it. Indicating it was because she was thoughtful about you is perfect.

A possible suggestion - ask her to teach you how to make her special recipe deviled eggs since you prefer them so much to other ones you've had (maybe they remind you of home) and you want/need to know how to do her recipe yourself (go as far as to write it down - because it's that important to you). Maybe you'll need to make them and bring them to Thanksgiving next year? If not the eggs, maybe some other recipe of hers (especially through the holidays) that you'll want to take with you and be able to make - 'just in case'. Maybe you'll just need it for a certain kid that will only eat mom's recipe and it's be easier for the kids if you can TRY to cook as good as her (notice the admiration love tank deposit). It also demonstrates a respect and acceptance of her stubborn (current but evolving) wish to separate and divorce while also indicating you will miss her (and her cooking) and want a piece of her (her recipe and the tastes/smells that food represent) with you. Plus it's a good non-clingy non-desperate appearing way to get her in the same room with you, goofing around, having fun, connecting without being all serious while working on a project TOGETHER.

Another bonus thought - I think her getting you cologne might have a little significance. When a wayward woman decides to stop loving her husband and to love another man she often forms a distaste or aversion for her husband's smell/scent. Throw away that old cologne and only wear the new one. Get and use strong fragranced shower gel too (like AXE for men). Associate this new, more fun, appreciative, kind you with a new manly scent. Avoid hanging around in your funk as she may have an aversion to it. If you normally work around the house, sweat it up and just not shower or shave because it's saturday and you don't have to - don't do that anymore. Shower in the morning and sometimes a night too if you've been sweating at all and use the cologne but NEVER mention it like you are doing it for her. Do it for you and if she notices so be it.