ONE YEAR ON

[fightin]

Max,

Thanks again for your words and advice. For my sitch there is an OW and my W bought the house before we were together so I've agreed to leave. I may not have to legally (not sure), but even if I could stay I wouldn't want to at this point. She is h3ll bent on being with the OW and not working on us so at this point my focus is picking up the pieces of myself and finding my happiness within myself.

Of course I hope she comes back to me, but that isn't my focus anymore. I will say that everyone (outside of this forum) thinks I'm insane for being willing to forgive her. To me, that's exactly what love is, the ability to accept all the humanness of another, all the dirt and flaws, and still love them and accept them. Maybe that makes me a fool only setting myself up for more heartache, but at this point that is how I feel. However, again, that isn't my focus anymore, and if it happens I'll cross that bridge when I get there.

Currently my W is furious that I won't be friends with her or respond to efforts to comfort me during this time, but if I'm going to work on myself I can't use her as a crutch. Besides, why would I want to be friends with someone that is willing to throw away our M? She's a very stubborn woman and wants what she wants always right now. She's also a thrill seeker so I suspect this new R with the OW is part of that behavior and will fade, but I may be wrong. Either way, she's made her choices and I only have the power to make my own.

I'm not sure what DBing looks like specifically for me now other than therapy and a lot of soul searching and healing, but for now that's more than enough.