She has told me that the things I do around the house, me having a positive attitude, and getting my boys together weekly to talk about things like integrity, manners, ect. to help raise them to be good men just irritates her. She said she's seen this in the past and will get her hopes up only to have them crushed because it doesn't last. She told me this just last Friday.
She is angry that she has no career now that she wants to leave me and that she should have left me years ago, angry at herself but blames me for her choices to stay at home and homeschool our kids all these years. She only stayed in this marriage because of the kids and fear of not being able to support herself and fear of breaking up the family she always wanted. Emotionally she is not well but is seeking no help to my knowledge, I'm guessing she doesn't even want to try individual counseling again because the first step would be to see if there was a way to work things out with me.
You did not break her and you can not FIX her.
Step away from her turmoil and focus on yourself. You can only FIX yourself.
