The I love you but not in love with you speech is wayward code for "I'm in love with someone else"
Women, in general, "romantically" love one man at a time. In order to exclude you with the "ILYBNILWY" speech there, necessarily, has to be another man as a point of comparison.
DON'T ASK HER. If she's cheating or in love with someone else she'll just lie and deny. Once you actually KNOW about an affair, DB instructs us not to snoop because it becomes an obsession and obstructs ones ability to detach HOWEVER, snooping is the best (and often he only) way to ascertain the truth about your life. If she's cheating, she won't tell you so you need to investigate the truth about your life yourself clandestinely. If you determine she's not cheating, then you confirmed you're dealing with a walkaway wife and can continue as you've been doing HOWEVER, if she's wayward you best not be condoning her manipulative plan to take turns for years living in some one bedroom apartment while she sneaks some other man into your home AND the one bedroom apt behind your back.
If there is an OM (means "other man") in this situation, it's probable that he is married and doesn't want to divorce his wife either. You mentioned she's in college and has this (recent) disdain for being a mom and enjoys her academics so I'm guessing OM is a fellow student or, more likely, a professor (notorious OM's).
Again - don't tip her off you are suspicious. Inspect what you expect and verify you aren't being played the fool.
The internet is 90% complaining and entitlement and I hate it because I deserve better!
