My H has been out of town the part of the week, and the other part, I went to visit my sister. We have not seen each other for over a week. And what a wonderful week it has been. Not having him around has been such bliss. I can really say that I have not missed him. In fact, when I made the drive back home, I dreaded it. I knew I would have to see HIM.

I have been trying to assess what that means. Does it mean I have reached the end of my rope? Does it mean I no longer love him? Does everyone who loves their spouse miss them when they are gone? Or does it just mean I needed a break?

What I do know, is that I do feel more detached. More, “whatever” when it comes to him. I hope this detachment feeling isn’t temporary.

We are visiting his family in a few days. I know this will be a difficult trip for him. Since his family found out about his infidelity, he has avoided contact with them. He just cannot face them. He even suggested that I take our son to go visit them without him because he just could not make the trip. Only after his therapist told him he thought it would be good for him to make this trip did he accede and agree to go.

Before our one week vacation from each other, I had visited with my two therapists. One of whom has a lot of experience with MLC and claims to be friends with Jim Conway. They both told me that I should try to initiate sex with my husband. It has been something I have been thinking about. I have been longing for physical affection from him. It is so weird for me to be in this house, see him every day, talk to him every day, and yet never touch him. Despite my reluctance, I swallowed my pride, tried it (two therapists can't be wrong, right?), and landed flat on my face. He outright rejected me saying he didn’t think it was a good idea. Wow. Talk about feeling rejected. It was why I did not want to try in the first place and here I am. What a terrible idea. Never should have done it. I should have listened to inner voice.

I have been reading a lot of old posts in the MLC section. One thing that has been recurring is the statement that MLC’ers will often “check” to see if the LBS is in the same place they were when they left. What does that mean? What kinds of things do they do when they “check?” And why would they do that?