Job - I think my last thread may have locked? I'd like to link this thread to that one but I might need you to edit it into my last post, please?
New thread, and now 2 years post BD. Most times, I literally and figuratively feel relief. I am so thankful that I have made it this far and I don't necessarily mean in standing for my marriage.
As for h? He's been sick for a few weeks now and has been to a doctor for some meds. Oh, so hard hard to zip it and not say: don't forget to get a script for your craziness, too!!!
He's been in that room A.LOT.
Pre BD, life with h was tremendously ridiculous. It never made any sense but of course, it all makes sense now that I understand he'd boarded the kooky express.
How stupid were things? One of the things h was always picking a fight about was sunblock. He was always mad that I was sunblocking myself and the kids?!? We live in a perpetually sunny place so I told him the kids and I would pass on the skin cancer, thanks. He told me a tan is more attractive. While I agree, I also said it does me little good if I am dead in a year. Also, I argued it may look good now but years later, I would be an alligator.
At around this time, H had a friend who had a cancerous growth from the sun and subsequently this friend started being really careful with sun exposure because well, he has a brain. When h got together with him, h would be mad that his friend would be wearing a wide brimmed hat!! Yes, life with him was THIS stupid. I told h this was a matter of life and death for this guy and h said he should stop wearing the ridiculous hat. It was like an upclose and personal with a real live village idiot.
Soon thereafter they had a falling out, surprise, surprise. The guy was too mature for h, I am sure. They'd been friends for 10 years and when the guy disagreed with h on something minuscule, h ditched him in true MLC fashion. I couldn't believe he'd done it! The guy was a good guy and a solid friend. After he told me the story, I told him he'd gone too far and he should apologize. I was SO confused. H's response: I can't be friends with someone who wears that hat. I kept praying I was on the longest running episode of Candid Camera.
In the dreaded letter, one of his brilliant requests on how to fix our m, was that I should throw on a bikini and tan myself on the beach 24/7.
Last night S13 mentions something about how long term smoking can really age you. And then h says, so does the sun. I nearly fell over. On and on h goes about the dangers of the sun. Suddenly he's the Surgeon General.
Then h says loudly, to both boys: "stay away from women who spend their days tannning up at the beach. That is all bad news."
It was such a weird, but huge trigger I realized. For years he to tortured me with this sun issue.
Who knows if he even remembers all that. I was so tempted to ask him if he was recanting his previously ignorant opinions on skin cancer. I had to leave he room because I wanted to go over there, grab him by the shoulders and say: blink if you're in there and trying to communicate!!!
