Job - thanks for your advice. We have two joint bank accounts. I use one and he uses the other. At the moment, I am comfortable and can keep going for quite a while yet with what is in the account I'm using. On my lawyers advice, I took out half of what was in this account and put it in a savings account in my name. She said that if I took all of it it would not look good if we went for a divorce. I check my joint account daily to make sure he doesn't dip into it. Since I am also on his account I can see what he spends his money on. Our company income goes into his account and he uses it to pay for the bills and mortgage...and his travels, etc with OW. So far, he is not spending more than he gets into his account but he does go through a lot of money and a lot is spend on keeping OW happy:( My lawyer said that if this amount is substantial I can claim it back if we do end up divorcing as technically he is not supposed to spend marital money on an affair. We have equity in our property and everything is joint so he can't sale anything without my signature... I can't check anything like emails, phone, etc as he changed passwords on everything when he moved out...so no snooping could be done even if I wanted to. He is completely paranoid about everything...right down to wanting to have his name removed from our British Airways family account because he thought I could see where he was traveling to...which I couldn't and tried to explain that to him but, no, he didn't believe me. I don't lie to him and he always said I was the most honest person he knew. Now he thinks I'm just trying to "trap" him into coming home and lying about everything in order to do it...wicked me! How can a man who had so much respect for me completely flip to the reverse and think of me as manipulative and conniving...it really hurts when I just love him and want him back in my life so much...
