Here we go again....

[matw]

journaling...

On Saturday I went up and had my flying lesson which I always look forward to. I am so excited to be able to continue my flying lessons and getting back on track with that. It really is 2 hours that I don't think about my sitch or and just have a lot of fun.

Also on Saturday my W moved all her stuff to her apartment and spent her first night there. I really thought it would be hard for me but it wasn't. I was strangely relaxed and able to spend some good quality time with my kids. We had a lot of fun playing video games and hanging out. I was worried that I would be depressed especially after I found out she was going downtown with a friend do some bar hopping. I realized it doesn't matter what she does anymore. I can only control myself. I guess I am getting sick of letting her be my only thoughts. I actually have a pretty good life with or without her.

On Sunday we did meet up to go grocery shopping together. We did this just because we are doing the 2-2-3 split so I will be responsible for the kids school lunches and what not. Also we meal prep everything on Sunday for the week since we are both into fitness. She normally did the shopping and I just wanted to make sure I got everything we normally do. So we did all that then went back to my house to cook our meals. Then she went to her apartment and I had the kids to myself again. Again a lot easier once she was gone.

So it appears that our in house situation wasn't working very well. Now that she has moved to the apartment I think this is will work a lot better for us. I became so dependent on my W that I lost who I was. I need to be alone for awhile to get back to the person she married twice. Also I need a bit of space to figure out what I want. Its also going to be a good time to work on my boundaries and what I am going to put up with. I was failing at that miserably I think because I was hoping for whatever reason she was going to change her mind.

Tonight will be the test because its the first night I will be at home without the kids. I plan on going to the gym and then back home to do some cleaning. I need to empty out my closet of all my old clothes. I have lost about 60lbs since April and need to make room for new clothes. I want to get all my old clothes ready and donate them to Goodwill. I plan on keeping myself busy and doing things I don't normally do when my W was living with me.