Maybell 40

[DonH]

I'm so glad to see your update. In fact it saved me a post. I was thinking this AM when I sat down to catch up on all the treads here, hmmmm it's been at least a month since we've heard from Maybell. Was going to give you a poke and then saw the update!

Nearly everything you wrote makes total sense to me, well other than one. Taking D13 along with you to get help to navigate the teen years is a great idea. If she participates fully, it should greatly help. Also agree with your assessment of meeting the in laws. The biggest upside is for D as she will be her aunt no matter what. I totally hear you on the others. I never hear from my ex inlaws. Hell I've not heard from ex in 5 years. The step kids are still in contact and I see them as well but totally sense their struggle of being in the middle. Ex just wants to erase that part of her life and pretend none of it ever happened. It's hard to be in the middle.

Now the new guy or your guy or whatever. What's really going on there? It almost sounds a little like acting as if. He seems all in from what you write. You seem hesitant - almost like it's not what you really want but it's what you think you should want or is best for you. Am on on point? Rather than, "I love him so much, he is such a great guy blah, blah, blah" it's more like "he's not who I normally am attracted to but he's the kind of guy I should be attracted to and I should want so I need to keep at it and hope it happens." If I'm correct it's not even that it's not the right thing to do. Sometimes we are bad at picking them and pick all the wrong guys, yet when it's the right guy or girl on paper, we just don't feel it.

This is really hard, isn't it? We want to be able to scream IM IN LOVE and have those feelings yet if love is a choice and hard work, you are doing it all correctly - yet it doesn't feel that way? Am I reading that correctly? If so, how does that not down the road become "I tried I really did, but it's just not there and perhaps never was" you know, all the things that a WAW says. I'm not at all saying that's what you are doing - I'm really just brainstorming here based on what I think I hear you saying. It's almost like he's solid, he's quality, he's great - do why can't I shout I'm in love?

Did I get it or am I way off?