I'm sorry you are going through all this. It's normal to have all those feelings and those memories coming back. You spent so much time together, loved each other... Some piece of paper that says "divorced" cannot erase that.
My h and I are "only" separated and I have the same issue with some friends and family, even my own mother. They just don't understand that after all my h did I still care about him and that I like to recall some of the happy memories, care about how he feels and even enjoy time spent together as a family etc. It's pointless to try to explain it. But it does make interactions awkward...
I can understand how you feel and I wish there was something I could say or do to ease your pain. It's always dangerous to mind read. We are only hurting ourselves by doing that (yes, I'm also guilty, of course). Maybe he had to put your paintings down because it was painful for him to look at them... what do we know what's going on in their minds?
I hope that with time the information you learn about what he does and how he is will get easier to absorb.
