It's okay to feel "sour" once in a while, but I have say this...you did not waste 11 years of your life. That life is the one that you chose to live w/your h and the both of you, together, had a family. True, there was a lot of hard work put into doing houses, etc., but at the end of the day, you did it together. Let's look at this another way...look at all that YOU accomplished in those 11 years. You were/are a devoted and loving wife, companion and help mate and the mother of his children. I see a woman who worked hard, didn't have a whole lot of time to spend on herself, but you gave of yourself freely and loved doing for her family.
Yes, your h has gone off the rails, but all the money in the world will not help him recreate those memories that he made w/you in 11 years. Right now, he thinks life is grand and one day, the shine will rub off that brass ring and the spending spree and fun will be over. You had the best years of your h's life and she's getting a used and broken man who can't see two steps in front of him. She will never have what you had w/your h and that was a partnership and family.
Rouky, it's normal to compare what you have to what they have...but I can assure you, you wouldn't want to be in their shoes, especially his. Things are making happy for now. In your life, family and being yourself will make you happy. You are working through your challenges and he's not. You will be the one to come out the other side a "whole and happy person", wiser and more independent. You will be happy again...but you have to go through that grieving process at the moment. There is light at the end of the tunnel...keep walking forward.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
