I lost everything too, I lost my h, bf, home, my money, my role in life and both my c were grown up. I was a sahm for 22yrs, I was left with nothing - I was a complete mess, totally destroyed 24yrs gone, no fight, no chances, just gone.
A year on, I have a job, which includes a promotion. I have rented a home, have friends and a life. My youngest now lives with me and I have plans and thoughts about the future. I laugh and smile all the time, its something I never imagined I would do ever again. bttrfly, I get what you are going through, I know just how you are feeling, you just got to believe me when I say to you, hang on in there, keep moving through the days and it will get better. Your s needs you more than ever now, its your job as a parent to step up and be his support and role model. Show him how to be strong and courageous, show him love and compassion, its all things that he will take forwards with him.
Your life was definitely not wasted, you got a beautiful s from your m and I am sure there were lots of times you were happy in your m and have lovely memories, they are just buried under the shock and anger right now. Your m was real, you met and fell in love with a guy who fell in love with you, it was real. Right now, its lost and no one can predict whether it will be found again.
A very kind, loving and wise woman wrote those words to me when I was at my absolute lowest point during this process. Do you recognize those words, my friend? You wrote them to me. You helped me more than you will ever know that day. I post these back to you. You were able to do this once without any of the tools you have now. This is an opportunity for you to do things maybe a little differently this time. What would you change from the last time, Lou? You have more options than you realize and two boys who have matured over this time frame and love you to pieces. Most importantly, you have more inner resources than you realize my dear.
I wish you lived closer. I'd make you some lovely tea with hawthorn, rose petals and some tulsi. Help your heart and adrenals because of the stress. Then I'd give you a hug and assure you that you will get through this and you aren't alone. {{{{{{{ hugs }}}}}}}
M 20+ T25+ S ~15.5 (BD) BD 4/6/15 D 12/23/16
"Someone I loved once gave me A box full of darkness. It took me years to understand, That this too, was a gift." ~ Mary Oliver
