I have been thinking today if I hadn't wasted 11 years of my life with H. During that time we did up 3 houses and that we sold on as our family grew. During this 11 years I have lived in dust, plastered, painted, build walls, wheelbarrowed concret and all kind of things. The end results would have been for us to be homeowners with a tiny mortgage.
Our goal was to start to live and do what we always wanted to do once we had a small mortgage. Now H is doing it with OW! He is going on holidays, spending money on clothes, going to concert. When we were together money was tight as it was reinvested in the house. Now OW is living what I should have done with H. I have lost count of how many nights after a full day at work, dealing with the kids, and a bit of school marking I still helped H with work in the house.
I feel used by H (even if now I'm self sufficient and have learnt a lot regarding DIY), so he got the best out of me and now he is enjoying all the hard work with OW. I remember telling him that if the house wasn't done up straight away we could do it into stages and enjoy life at the same time, but no he wanted it done. The more I think (I know speculations), I feel H had an agenda when we bought our last house! By then he was already in EA with OW! I felt he knew that we will do it up but he always knew that we were done. So it was just a case of plodding along with me until he got what he wanted. They both are working, so they have two waves going in so they can do more stuff. As I have no family here I have to pay for childcare and babysitter if I want to go out. She has her parents, so free childcare.
I feel it is unfair that I worked so hard with him, and now OW is reaping everything. Yes I was unhappy with H because I was doing too much but I always knew it was temporary as I had the end goal in mind. H didn't see it that way as his happiness was/ is more important than the end result. Just feeling a tiny wee bit sour today, but in general life has been good with me.
