cheesyt 4- no more doormat!

[lt0402]

hey cheesy, reading your conversation above made me feel like I was reliving some of mine. As you know from my situation, I also had to deal w/ the "your D doesn't want you around" and "your D would be happier if we divorced" reasoning from my W. Here's what I learned...

It's nonsense! My W also told me at one point that were my D not in the picture we'd still be together. Also nonsense. I'd be very hesitant to believe what your W is telling you your D is saying about you and your MR.

My W also never cries, so I've been caught off guard when she does as well. Tough to tell if they are really hurt, or are using the tears to manipulate our behavior. Best guess is that it's some combination of both.

Additionally, my W has expressed that she's seen my changes for the better. She's also told me that they make her even more angry, as she now realizes I could have changed all this time. I've also gotten the "it's too little too late" part from my W as well. My response to my W has consistently been "the BD was a wakeup call for me. while I am now aware of my issues from the past, I'm hard at work making changes so they are not issues in the future". Best not to get into deep conversation about things that you cannot change. Only seems to bolster their resolve that we're "bad" people.

From an outside observers viewpoint, the above seems like serious temp checking from your W. It seems like what you've been doing up until this conversation has gotten your Ws attention. She's obviously very uneasy and uncomfortable about being in the dark on what's going on in cheesyt's life.

It's possible that providing her w/ answers to all her questions has set you back a little though. Some of the vets would have better thoughts around this I'd think. I'm guilty of this as well as I tend to get trapped into long conversations w/ my W at times too.

Best thing you can do is keep up what you are presently doing. It's been a roller coaster, but you have to know that you've become stronger because of it. Just keep being strong and keep GAL and you may see your W continue to question her decision making.

Hang in there Cheesyt! We know you rock. You know you rock. Your W is in la-la land if she doesn't know it!

Sending some positive vibes your way Cheesy! Glad to see you back here posting. Please keep us in the loop. Here to support you!!!!