well heck. Went to pick up the rest of my stuff from the house. What a surprise from W...W was home alone. I walked in and W offered coffee..W wanted to talk. Asked what I wanted from divorce. I said I didn't want D and I wasn't going to talk about it. W asked why I haven't filed. I simply said I don't wish to talk about it because It's not something I want. W asked why If I didn't want a divorce I was separating bills and accounts...I told that That's what happens when you separate and W wanted a D. W asked if I wanted to hear what she has to say. I blurted No...and she got soooo mad. started throwing my stuff into a box. then...I noticed W had started crying. I told her I wanted to listen and I apologized. W started yelling about how I'm such a jerk and I'm rude over text. W said "I text you and you're so mean then you apologize it's like always" well she's right. Except I used to defend and make excuses for my behavior. W wouldn't stop crying. My W NEVER cries...like...EVER. so her crying and showing emotion is huge. W kept yelling about how horrible I was asking why I waited so long to be the type of parent D needs. How all my changes are great but that it's too late. Somewhere in there she said We were soulmates and meant to be and that she loves me. I was in awe. W seemed so angry....W did mention she was angry with me. And that she's so confused. finally she calmed down and I hugged her. I told her I'd like to listen to her. We sat across from each other she began to talk. Telling me how I waited too long. How she lost her best friend. Telling me all her hardships and saying she had no one. I validated some in there. W mentioned D talks about me all the time but it's all negative. W said she asked D if D thinks she made the right decision leaving me, W said D said yes. I told W of course D says what W wants to hear. W also said D never has anything good to say about me so if D wasn't around, If W didn't have D that W and I would be perfect for each other. W told me D said I choked her once. I told her that's a lie. W told me she knew, that D admitted to lying but couldn't give her a reason why. W soften up, was no longer all emotionally charged. I told W I had been working on me and that I was pretty happy. W asked why I was incapable of changing my parenting style before. I told her I had no real reason but that I can't change the past. I told W I was doing well, I told her about school, running. she asked about work, and about my Sister. I told W my sister and I were talking (had a rough patch but we're good) and W said "that's why she stopped talking to me then". I told W I had nothing to do with her decision to quit talking to her. W asked where I was going because she saw I bought I plane ticket...she admitted she checks my credit card, my bank account and my facebook. W told me it was good I changed all the passwords because It's driving her nuts to wonder what I'm up to. W questioned why I never wanted to eat pizza, (W's favorite food) when I frequent some pizza place that she saw on my cc statement(I got for the beer and have never tried the pizza there). I did ask W why we aren't working on us after all she said. W said It's just too late. W asked If i was seeing someone. I told her no, but that it didn't matter if I was because she is seeing someone. W told me she didn't believe me. I told her that's her choice. I reiterated that I'm working on me.
W laughed some. Hugged some more. Finished packing my car. (I caught my W checking my phone while I was inside) W offered to drive to my town (30 min away) if all my stuff didn't fit. We hugged before I left...she started crying again and shaking in my arms. I felt bad obviously. I wanted nothing more than for W to say ok lets figure this out..I wouldn't consider moving back just yet either.
W later texted "Cheesyt, our conversation doesn't change where I'm at right now. I just want to make sure you know and understand that. Me- I understand. W - Ok thanks.
