As I detach (I'm getting there!) the biggest speed bump I'm hitting is on tag teaming with wife when it come to kids. As I've stated they are a handful and we at times work very well as "a team" with the kids during times like bedtime morning routines and weekends. While in the midst of this she will ask me to do things and I will of her as well. This feels contradictory to some of the advice I have read in other posts in detaching- where you should almost act as if they are already gone. How do I act in these scenarios? At times I feel it is completely fine others I feel It is cake eating. But it involves my kids so I'm super sensitive in how to behave and act when we are inevitably in these scenarios. . Should I just check out at the risk of looking like a bad father? Should I continue as always? Somewhere in between? I feel these situations are stopping me from fully detaching especially since I'm emotionally ready to!!!!
You must have misread. Detaching isn't the same as NC. Detaching has nothing to do with kids. You will still ofcourse communicate about the kids and anything pressing financially. When it's said about communicating about the kids it's the big stuff. Not a cute pic text or something like that. It's more of you backing way off and not initiating contact. When she initiates you are polite but not overly.
34, xw33 M-10, T-18 2D (8 and 5) Ilybinilwy-1/16 EA/PA- 7/15-present (with my former best friend) Trial apartment-2/16 (also when she considers us separated) W moved out-8/16 W Filed 11/21/16 D final 1/30/17
